Confessions of a Pussy Lover Part II

A friend of mine taking BS Biology desperately needed a cat- an adult cat. Lowella fit her requirement to a T. She has been chasing every alley cat in our village and it was obviously futile. I saw it as an opportunity to help a friend, and more importantly, end mama's sufferings well. In my mind, I was doing everyone a favor including Gel. It would mean giving an abrupt end to his asthma attacks.

In one shift motion, I covered Lowella's nose with chloroform-soaked cloth to put her to sleep and as soon as that sleep inducing chemical took effect, my friend hurriedly placed her in a sack and off she went. No more Lowella. No more asthma.

It became my closely guarded secret for years. In Gel's mind, the poor thing was probably too old to go back home or probably died of natural causes somewhere else. Gel was inconsolable. Such loss was the ultimate heart shattering experience for him. He lost not just a cat. He lost a source of joy. I have regrettably overlooked this important detail. No amount of apology can erase the fact that I've caused him so much pain, that I deprived him of his feline companion.

And now as I go through this ongoing love affair with my own cats, I cannot help but fear for the same tragic loss, to go through that very same heart shattering experience. God forbid. I might cross the line between sanity and insanity should any of them die on me. I am drowning in this karmic whirlpool. If this is the price I have to pay for my feline cruelty, then so be it. Such feline cruelty deserve punishment. I accept. Bring it on!

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I believe in retribution. It is a MUST. I see each day as an opportunity to make amends. I vowed to give my cats the top of the line food(and plenty of it), warm cozy beds, countless toys for their amusement, tons of yummy treats and most important of all, my unwavering love and affection. This is my commitment.

Whenever I go to bed at night, I tell my cats that I love them. I whisper sincere assurances of NEVER ever giving them away(like what their previous owners did). I try my best to make them feel secure and ultimately wipe away their fear. They deserve to be happy, they deserve a home.

Yes. The worst nightmare of any cat has turned into the passionate pussy lover. Ironic. Nevertheless I feel no shame, only PRIDE. Why not? I have been blessed with two awesome cats, loyal and affectionate and an endless source of joy. Thank God for the realization, thank God for my cats.