Tuesday, June 14, 2005

A Funny Letter

This was a forwarded email to me by an online buddy in a Cat Forum. It made me laugh big time, so i decided to share it with all my readers here. Cheers!


My dear Cats,

I love you guys, but you’re making my life a living hell right now. I hope this is just a reaction to some natural disaster looming in the near future and not how you intend to live the rest of your lives. Because, if this is the way you intend to live your lives, they will be very short indeed!

White cat: Shut the fuck up. Yes, I know you’re there. There is absolutely nothing wrong with my eyes. Have you ever noticed how I leave the house for around 9 hours each and every weekday? I have this job thing. This thing keeps you in food and toys and stuff. It also allows me to purchase the furniture you so readily destroy. If you keep raising hell at 5am, I will continue to be in a pissy mood and stand a good chance of being fired from my job. Result? No more stuff for you.

Black cat: Ever heard of a courtesy flush. Well, that’s what we humans do when we let loose with a particularly rank dump. In case you haven’t noticed, you specialize in particularly rank dumps and I think a courtesy flush (or in your case a courtesy scratch) would be in order. And no, scratching the floor AROUND the litter box does not count. There is a reason for that litter. Think about it and use it.

To both of you: Work with me here; stay out from under my feet. I can’t feed you if I’m unconscious on the floor. Try lying on clothes that actually MATCH your fur color instead of contrasting colors. Stay the fuck away from my food. I certainly don’t mess with yours. Make sure that all wildlife brought into the house is actually dead. I’m getting tired of cleaning up after your slasher movies.

If you follow these few simple rules, you will live long and prosper and I will love you with all my heart!

Thanks,
Me

7 Comments:

At 10:18 AM, Blogger ... beachfreak said...

this is hilarious. this letter is so true, and real. but we love our cats too much that sometimes anything negative about them, we don't mind at all. Most of us have a love-'hate' relationship with our most beloved pets. =) Hahahaha!

 
At 7:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahahaha...true, true, true! i used to have lots of cats back home, and my mom complains all the time about their habits, it is agood thing the kitties are cute enough to warrant her forgiveness :D nice funny letter!

 
At 2:30 AM, Blogger BabyPink said...

hahahaha!:) kakatawa! the moment you have a cat or you befriend a cat, you become his/her slave! agree?:)

 
At 1:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hope they get it right, else either you or their lives will be shortened.

Excellent post.

 
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